The British Might Say We're Moving "Sideways"

Seen in an email today here at Company X:

"We made some good edgeway today."

No Justice, No Peace

eBay has responded to my report on the suspicious activity of phila_express_auto_sales:

I appreciate the opportunity to address your concerns about phila_express_auto_sales.

We are concerned about violations on the site and have thoroughly investigated your report, however, in accordance with our site policies, we have found that there is not enough evidence to show that a violation has taken place.

We understand your concern about this situation, and can reopen the investigation if any additional information can be provided and, we also recognize your initiative in reporting this situation and be assured that the information you have provided is important and will be used for further investigation when the opportunity comes.

Your report has also alerted us and will keep us watchful on future possible violations that may occur as related to the members you have reported.

This is the second time I have reported shameless activity by an eBay merchant, and this is the second time eBay has turned a blind eye.

Is the blind eye at eBay headquarters Kofi Annan's?

Is his son, Kojo, selling used cars in Philadelphia?

The public deserves the truth!

Shenanigans!

In pursuit of finding a BMW 540i that suits my tastes, I have been monitoring eBay. I have come across one car dealer in Philadelphia (phila_express_auto_sales) that appears to be engaging in (to use eBay's terms) shill bidding.

This dealer lists cars in No Reserve, "private" auctions; vehicles are sold to the highest bidder with no minimum price, and the IDs of the bidders are kept secret. I believe this dealer is artificially inflating the price of their vehicles by bidding on them. If a vehicle doesn't achieve a desired price, this dealer (I suspect) is bidding at the last second to win the auction so as to list the car again in hopes of getting a higher price.

I was monitoring one particular vehicle, but when I noticed the vehicle was sold and then re-listed in a new auction by the same dealer, I started monitoring other vehicles being offered by this dealer. Here are my findings, which I have reported to eBay:

2001 BMW 540i
VIN: WBADN53451GC98553
Listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (220003459892)
Sold for $23,600 on July 6, 2006
Re-listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (330005753223)
Sold for $23,600 (again) on July 13, 2006

2000 BMW 540i
VIN: WBADN6347YGM66805
Listed in No Reserve, "private" auction
Sold on July 7, 2006 for $16,500
Re-listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (320007088130)
Sold on July 20, 2006 for $14,601
Re-listed in a "Buy It Now" listing (220010058766) at a price of $17,400

2003 Acura TL
VIN: 19UUA56693A021369
Listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (220005522708)
Sold on July 13, 2006 for $16,100
Re-listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (220009360364)

2004 Honda Odyssey
VIN: 5FNRL18034B056885
Listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (320005343322)
Sold on July 13, 2006 for $20,201
Re-listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (220009363226)

2002 Volkswagon Passat
VIN: WVWVD63B12E142342
Listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (220005531222)
Sold on July 13, 2006 for $13,850
Re-listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (220008657640)

2002 Subaru Outback
VIN: 4S3BH665027653591
Listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (220005532249)
Sold on July 13, 2006 for $12,800
Re-listed in No Reserve, "private" auction (320007924693)
Sold on July 21, 2006 for $12,980

Verwendete Autoverkäufer

I've been toying with the idea of buying a used BMW 540i recently, and I've actually spent a lot of time doing research. Well, today I was at a "big tent" sale in the parking lot of the local Kmart. I really did not expect to find what I was looking for. The impetus was really to see if the serialized flyer I received in the mail was my ticket to a "fabulous prize".

I was greeted in the tent by a salesman named Rod. Rod immediately asked me if I was ready to buy a car. I told him I wanted to know what fabulous prize I won first. Rod told me that I was supposed to win a $1,000 shopping spree, but they gave all of those away. He proceeded to explain that I didn't really want the $1,000 shopping spree because it was online, and I would have to pay shipping for any items purchased. He assured me I would prefer the alternate prize. The alternate prize was a vacation package for 3 days and 2 nights to one of several resorts. After reading the fine print, it was clear that taxes and surcharges would end up costing me too much to have this vacation really qualify as a prize. That really was no surprise.

Rod asked what I was looking for. I said I wanted a BMW 540i, preferably a model from 2001 to 2003. He said he had no BMWs, but he did have an Audi A4 that was "loaded" with "low miles". I was sure his next description would include the words "cream puff", but he followed up with "it runs like a dream". I explained that there is a world of difference between a BMW 540i and an Audi A4. Rod refutted my claim by stating that the Audi A4 was the result of solid German engineering. He then stated that "the Audis pretty much come off the same assembly line as the BMWs."

I wanted to explain to Rod that Audi and BMW were not affiliated with each other. In fact, Audi and BMW are rivals. But how could I explain this without hurting Rod's feelings? After all, I do not make my living in the car business, and Rod is supposed to be an expert. I had to choose my words carefully. I had to have the right combination of tact and sensitivity. I looked at Rod, bit my lower lip in Bill Clinton fashion, and said, "You are a jackass." And I walked away.

What's In Your Wallet? (Part II)

Capital One has yet to respond to my letter from 7/17/06, despite my 7/18/06 deadline. Capital One stock is down 9% and continues on a downward trend. Obviously, my blog is causing traders to second guess their investment in a company that can't tell the difference between a VISA card and an American Express card. The little guy is winning! Thank goodness I started this blog.

I'm So Vain, I Probably Think This Blog Is About Me

This one goes out to all the ladies.

Charity Or Chastity... Which Would You Choose?

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The Dumbing Down Of Corporate America

So, I was perusing an intranet web site here at Company X regarding our Product Development Process (PDP). After following a few links, I came across a page describing the Project Management Professional (PMP) certification offered by the Project Management Institute (www.pmi.org).

A Company X employee who has been certified as a PMP created a PowerPoint presentation with lessons learned from taking the certification exam. According to one of the slides, the exam is multiple choice in ABCD format with no "all of the above" or "B&C only" choices. The slide goes on to say that there are 200 questions, and you "need a score of 137 to pass (67.5%)".

Where I come from, 137 out of 200 is 68.5%, not 67.5%. Additionally, 68.5% is a 'D'. This explains why so much of my day is like an extension of the movie "Office Space".

What's In Your Wallet?

I'm having some trouble with a charge made to my credit card. Fortunately, the charge wasn't for a lot of money. Here's the letter that I faxed to Capital One yesterday to address the situation. I have changed the names to protect the innocent:

July 17, 2006

Capital One
Disputes Correspondence
P.O. Box 85520
Richmond, VA 23286-9175
(804) 747-7200
(888) 435-4217 FAX

To whom it may concern,

On 04/01/06, a charge in the amount of $42.80 was added to my VISA credit card from “[BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENT #1]”. Upon discovering this charge while reviewing my account online, I called Capital One customer service and disputed the charge since I had never heard of [BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENT #1]. On 04/20/06, $42.80 was credited to my account, pending an investigation by Capital One regarding the legitimacy of the charge. On 06/22/06, the disputed charge of $42.80 was re-applied to my account. Upon discovering this charge while reviewing my account online, I called Capital One customer service and asked why the charge had been re-applied. I was told that the merchant produced evidence that proved the charge was made by me. I was also told that a letter would be mailed to me with a copy of the evidence.

On 07/05/06, I received a letter dated 06/22/06 from Capital One stating the following:

a) A sales ticket has been obtained and, based on that ticket, the disputed charge was being re-applied to my account.
b) I have 30 days from the receipt of the letter to dispute the validity of the sales ticket.
c) Capital One will consider the dispute resolved if they have not received a response by 07/17/06.
d) If I respond and indicate that the signature on the sales draft is not mine and was not made by someone authorized by me, my account will be restricted and transferred to a new number.

Upon reading the letter and reviewing the photocopied sales receipt and invoice which were enclosed with the letter, I called Capital One customer service and spoke with Nicole (ID SV55) at approximately 8:45 PM (EST). I discussed with Nicole my confusion regarding the so-called “evidence” that was used by Capital One to determine that my VISA account was correctly charged $42.80 on 04/01/06. Nicole was very pleasant, and agreed with my arguments, but she informed me that I must submit my complaint in writing to Capital One.

Your “evidence” shows that [Joan Q. Public] ordered a seat cleaning service from [BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENT #2] on 04/01/06. The total cost of the service was $42.80. Your “evidence” also shows that [Joan Q. Public] paid for the service with her American Express card. I do not know [Joan Q. Public]. I do not have an American Express card. I have never had an American Express card. I have a VISA.

Who was the Capital One investigator who looked at the American Express credit card receipt signed by the credit card’s owner, [Joan Q. Public], and determined that the charge of $42.80 was correctly applied to a VISA card owned by [Dr. F]?

I would appreciate an immediate credit of $42.80 to my VISA account.

Please, do not restrict my account as a result of this indication that the signature on the sales receipt was not mine and was not made by anyone authorized by me. Hopefully, you can understand that I am not authorized to sign for charges made on [Joan Q. Public]’s American Express card. Additionally, [Joan Q. Public] does not need authorization from me to sign for her own charges.

The letter I received from Capital One contradicts itself. The letter was dated 06/22/06, so I obviously would not receive the letter until after 06/22/06. The letter states that I would have 30 days to dispute the validity of the sales ticket, yet it also imposes a deadline of 07/17/06. Please update your form letter, so as not to further aggravate customers who are already aggravated because they have to write a letter to correct an obvious mistake. Additionally, when signing a business letter, it is customary to include the name of the author in print. This enables the recipient of the correspondence to know who the author is when the signature is not clear.

If you wish to argue that the charge of $42.80 should not be credited to my VISA account, I ask that you notify me within 30 days of receipt of this correspondence. If I have not received a response by 07/18/06, I will expect free stuff. Capital One Rewards points would suffice.

Regards,

[Dr. F]

The Doctor Is In

At the behest of my good friend, stealthgeek, I have started a blog. Prepare to be entertained by true stories that happen to me on a random basis. Don't be surprised if what follows in the months and years ahead is a collection of blurbs related to potty humor and midgets. Enjoy.