If this email had been authored by a man, I'm sure he would be reprimanded for being sexist, assuming women didn't have the mechanical inclination to figure out how to flush a modern toilet.
Ever since I moved to Florida and established a home phone number, I have often received calls from people looking for some Indian dude. Every once in awhile, I'll come home to a message on my answering machine from some employer who found the Indian dude's resume online. Two days ago, my answering machine recorded ten (10) messages from employers looking for this Indian dude. My guess is that this jackass has posted his resume to some new site, but he has neglected to proofread his resume for the correct phone number. So, in an effort to reduce the number of messages I have to listen to, I have changed my answering machine message. Here it is.
theme song that is a remake of Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself For Loving You", sung by Pink. This new theme song will be used every Sunday night, similar to Monday Night Football's use of Hank Williams, Jr.'s overplayed "Are You Ready For Some Football?"
I ventured out to the local Starbucks today, which is a rare occurrence, and I thought I would share my experience in the form of senryū...
Wendy's. He raved about the superior flavor of the vanilla Frosty over the chocolate Frosty. I dashed out to buy one, only to discover that Wendy's had not gone nationwide in their distribution of the new Frosty flavor. Oh, the disappointment. After waiting it out, I was pleased to hear a few days ago that Wendy's has gone into mass production mode, and the vanilla Frosty is available from sea to shining sea! I have tried one, and it does not disappoint. I garnished mine with peanut M&Ms, and the taste was most enjoyable. Do yourself a favor and try one.
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| This BMW 540i has been listed on your web site for awhile, but it used to have 5-spoke wheels. Why the change? |
From: Ferman Automotive Group |
| From: Dr. F Sent: Wednesday, August 23, 2006 10:34 AM To: Ferman Automotive Group Eric, If the wheels on the car (as depicted in the latest photos) are the originals, why would you have changed the wheels prior to photographing the vehicle (as depicted in pictures from a month ago), particularly if customers buy the car and not the wheels? Do you still have the 5-spoke wheels? - Dr. F |
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| Midgets enjoy drinking and | Midgets enjoy stapling money |
| screaming into microphones. | to their faces. |
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| Midgets bleed like the rest | You don't have to be a midget |
| of us. | to enjoy biting a woman's ass. |
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For those of you who know the genesis and the history of "Dr. F", you are aware of the numerous Nigerian scam emails that I have responded to in the past. There was much humor to be found in responding to Nigerian scam emails by leading the scammers on, using their greed and their own spotty English to do it. Today there's a new scam in town.What better way to kick off August than with midgets?
Check out the Half Pint Brawlers! They've got midgets, blood, midgets, wrestling, midgets and, oh yeah, girls!
merchant, and this is the second time eBay has turned a blind eye.
Capital One has yet to respond to my letter from 7/17/06, despite my 7/18/06 deadline. Capital One stock is down 9% and continues on a downward trend. Obviously, my blog is causing traders to second guess their investment in a company that can't tell the difference between a VISA card and an American Express card. The little guy is winning! Thank goodness I started this blog.
To whom it may concern,
On 04/01/06, a charge in the amount of $42.80 was added to my VISA credit card from “[BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENT #1]”. Upon discovering this charge while reviewing my account online, I called Capital One customer service and disputed the charge since I had never heard of [BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENT #1]. On 04/20/06, $42.80 was credited to my account, pending an investigation by Capital One regarding the legitimacy of the charge. On 06/22/06, the disputed charge of $42.80 was re-applied to my account. Upon discovering this charge while reviewing my account online, I called Capital One customer service and asked why the charge had been re-applied. I was told that the merchant produced evidence that proved the charge was made by me. I was also told that a letter would be mailed to me with a copy of the evidence.
On 07/05/06, I received a letter dated 06/22/06 from Capital One stating the following:
a) A sales ticket has been obtained and, based on that ticket, the disputed charge was being re-applied to my account.
b) I have 30 days from the receipt of the letter to dispute the validity of the sales ticket.
c) Capital One will consider the dispute resolved if they have not received a response by 07/17/06.
d) If I respond and indicate that the signature on the sales draft is not mine and was not made by someone authorized by me, my account will be restricted and transferred to a new number.
Upon reading the letter and reviewing the photocopied sales receipt and invoice which were enclosed with the letter, I called Capital One customer service and spoke with Nicole (ID SV55) at approximately 8:45 PM (EST). I discussed with Nicole my confusion regarding the so-called “evidence” that was used by Capital One to determine that my VISA account was correctly charged $42.80 on 04/01/06. Nicole was very pleasant, and agreed with my arguments, but she informed me that I must submit my complaint in writing to Capital One.
Your “evidence” shows that [Joan Q. Public] ordered a seat cleaning service from [BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENT #2] on 04/01/06. The total cost of the service was $42.80. Your “evidence” also shows that [Joan Q. Public] paid for the service with her American Express card. I do not know [Joan Q. Public]. I do not have an American Express card. I have never had an American Express card. I have a VISA.
Who was the Capital One investigator who looked at the American Express credit card receipt signed by the credit card’s owner, [Joan Q. Public], and determined that the charge of $42.80 was correctly applied to a VISA card owned by [Dr. F]?
I would appreciate an immediate credit of $42.80 to my VISA account.
Please, do not restrict my account as a result of this indication that the signature on the sales receipt was not mine and was not made by anyone authorized by me. Hopefully, you can understand that I am not authorized to sign for charges made on [Joan Q. Public]’s American Express card. Additionally, [Joan Q. Public] does not need authorization from me to sign for her own charges.
The letter I received from Capital One contradicts itself. The letter was dated 06/22/06, so I obviously would not receive the letter until after 06/22/06. The letter states that I would have 30 days to dispute the validity of the sales ticket, yet it also imposes a deadline of 07/17/06. Please update your form letter, so as not to further aggravate customers who are already aggravated because they have to write a letter to correct an obvious mistake. Additionally, when signing a business letter, it is customary to include the name of the author in print. This enables the recipient of the correspondence to know who the author is when the signature is not clear.
If you wish to argue that the charge of $42.80 should not be credited to my VISA account, I ask that you notify me within 30 days of receipt of this correspondence. If I have not received a response by 07/18/06, I will expect free stuff. Capital One Rewards points would suffice.
Regards,
[Dr. F]
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