What Have I Been Doing With My Time?

... Counting nuts, of course. Have you ever wondered if a can of mixed nuts really contains less than 50% peanuts, as advertised? Well, I decided to check for myself. I bought a big-ass can of Planters Mixed Nuts, I separated the nuts, and I weighed the nuts. Here are the results:

Planters Mixed Nuts, 3 LBS 8 OZ (56 OZ), 1.58kg
Nut	Weight (g)	Weight (%)
Cashews	229.0	14.4%
Almonds	353.0	22.2%
Hazel Nuts	49.0	3.1%
Pecans	51.0	3.2%
Brazil Nuts	138.0	8.7%
Non-Peanut Total	820.0	51.5%
Peanuts	773.0	48.5%
Total	1,593.0	100.0%

Email Thread of the Day

The following exchange occurred through email with a coworker today...

-----------------------------------------------------------
From: Dr. F
To: Team Distribution List

The concern is probably more on efficacy than safety for this issue. Would a
non-English speaking user be able to use the product effectively? Perhaps the
question is moot (to quote Jesse Jackson from Saturday Night Live circa 1984) if
we get translated strings by tomorrow.
-----------------------------------------------------------
From: Coworker X
To: Team Distribution List

It seems the point is “mute” since the translated strings will arrive on Tuesday.
-----------------------------------------------------------
From: Dr. F
To: Coworker X

The point is incapable of producing speech or sound?
-----------------------------------------------------------
From: Coworker X
To: Dr. F

I’ve actually heard people use the word “mute” instead of “moot”.
-----------------------------------------------------------
From: Dr. F
To: Coworker X

You should stop hanging out with illiterate people. :)
-----------------------------------------------------------

Bang Your Head!

Well, I got those free tickets to see Monster Cirus at the Las Vegas Hilton on March 21st. What a show! 80s hard rock, hot chicks and carnies. What more can you ask for? Well, I'll tell you. How about singing the chorus of AC/DC's "Highway To Hell" with Dee Snider? That's right. Yours truely and his buddies were singing with Dee Snider when he jumped into the audience and shared the microphone. What a rush! Dee is 54, but he's still rockin', and he sounded great.

Here's the set list from the show:

01. Live Wire (Motley Crue)

02. Shout It Out Loud (Kiss)

03. Back In Black (AC/DC)

04. Is This Love (Whitesnake)

05. Once Bitten Twice Shy (Great White)

06. You've Got Another Thing Comin' (Judas Priest)

07. That's Life (Frank Sinatra)

08. We're Not Gonna Take It (Twisted Sister)

09. Crazy Train (Ozzy Osbourne)

10. I Wanna Rock (Twisted Sister)

11. Highway To Hell (AC/DC)

12. Hot For Teacher (Van Halen)

13. Dream On (Aerosmith)

14. Paradise City (Guns N' Roses)

15. Bang Your Head (Metal Health) (Quiet Riot)

Let The Games Begin!

It's that time of year, again. It's time for March Madness, and that means it's time for another trip to Las Vegas. Travelling to Las Vegas for the opening rounds of March Madness has been an annual tradition for me for several years. Readers of this blog know that the Red Rock Casino has been the casino of choice in recent years due to its diverse offerings and its close proximity to my buddy's house. However, I am traveling off the beaten path this year. My Las Vegas buddy works for the company that manages the Las Vegas Hilton, and he has provided me and a few other gambling friends with a multi-room suite at the Hilton. This guy is generous to a fault (or he just got tired of his house stinking after days of gluttonous use by slobs he's known for 25+ years). Any way you slice it, I am in Vegas, and the atmosphere is exciting.

In years past, I've run into oracles and harbingers of death. This year I crossed paths with Dee Snider. He was buying a cup of coffee. Dee will be a guest performer with Monster Circus for their first three shows at the Las Vegas Hilton Theater this week. Guess who might be getting free tickets for Saturday night's show.

Welcome To Sony Tech Support... How Much Would You Like To Wager?

I was fixing a friend's Sony VAIO desktop PC today, and I had cause to use Sony's online chat feature for customer support. Here's the transcript:

Problem: "My PCV-RS710G has a built-in SD card reader, but it won't read an 8GB SD card. Does the SD card reader have a size limitation?"

user Dr. F has entered room

analyst Jimmy_ has entered room

Jimmy_> Hi. Welcome to Sony Online Support. I'm Jimmy. Please allow me a moment to review your concern.

Dr. F> The 8GB SD card is formatted as FAT32, and I can read the card using an external USB SD card reader.

Jimmy_> Thanks for waiting. I'm sorry for the inconvenience you are experiencing. I'll be happy to assist you with the compatibility of the Memory card.

Jimmy_> May I know the exact type and specification of the SD card you're using with the Computer?

Dr. F> I think it's a Sandisk 8.0 GB SD card.

Dr. F> It was pe-fomatted as FAT32

Jimmy_> Thanks for the information.

Jimmy_> Please give me a moment while I get this information for you.

Jimmy_> Thanks for waiting.

Jimmy_> As per the information published online, the inbuilt memory card slot shipped with the Computer can support maximum of 2GB SD card only and does not support 8 GB SD(HC)card.

Dr. F> That explains it. Thanks for the help, Jimmy!

Jimmy_> You may connect an external SD memory card slot using the USB port to access the SD cards over 2 GB.

Jimmy_> You're most welcome.

Jimmy_> Is there anything else I may assist you with today? I'll be glad to do so.

Dr. F> Why? Are you bored?

Dr. F> I could use some help picking a winner for the Super Bowl

Dr. F> The Steelers are favored by 7

Jimmy_> :)

Jimmy_> I'm glad to assist you with any technical information with your VAIO.

Dr. F> Fair enough. Defense wins championships. I'm going with my gut. Steelers!

Dr. F> l8r

There's Something About Centava

After posting my correspondence with the insolent American Airlines customer service reps, I thought I would let you know that some American Airlines customers have had it worse than me. The most disturbing example of what you can expect on an American Airlines flight is the case of Centava Dozier, a 21 year old woman who fell asleep on a flight and woke up with a guy next to her masturbating and a "substance" in her hair! She's suing American Airlines for $200,000. American Airlines is at fault, as they should have prevented her from boarding the plane because she obviously must be too hot to expect male passengers to control themselves.

Un-American Airlines

I recently booked a flight on American Airlines to attend a wedding over the upcoming July 4th weekend. I attempted to use two $100 gift certificates, and I was subsequently charged $15 by American Airlines for a phone call I made requesting instructions for redeeming the certificates. What follows is a chronological record of the email correspondence thus far. I encourage every reader of my blog to spread the news: American Airlines sucks. As a side note, Capital One is off my sh*t list as a result of this ordeal.

April 24, 2008: The first email sent to AA

I recently booked flights on AA.com, but the web site did not support the use of gift certificates I received from Capital One as part of my credit card rewards program. I spoke with an American Airlines representative on the phone to find out how to use the certificates in conjuction with the flights I had booked online. The representative was pleasant and supplied me with a mailing address to send the certificates to, so as to receive credit on my purchase. Yesterday (04/23/2008), I received an email identified as my eTicket Itinerary And Receipt Confirmation. The email identified a charge for "Telephone Ticketing Service" in the amount of $15! I can only assume this is a mistake, as I can't understand why I am being charged $15 when I received no warning of such a charge when a) I looked up the phone number to call on AA.com, or b) when I spoke with the AA representative. Please remove that charge from my credit card. Thank you very much for your time. I look forward to hearing from you. I have posted this story on my blog and would like to update my readers about the resolution of this matter. Regards, Dr. F

April 25, 2008

From: American Airlines Date: Apr 25, 2008 4:00 AM Subject: R2008/04-73121-00059-001-00 April 24, 2008 Dear Dr. F: Thank you for contacting American Airlines Customer Relations. I am pleased to have the opportunity to assist you. I'm sorry to learn that you were unaware that you would be charged a transaction fee for your ticket purchase. When you called our reservation office, it seems you may have missed the recorded message that informs our customers about this fee. I know there is a lot of information given during the recording. Allow me to clarify where this bit of information is disseminated during the automated recording. After calling 1-800-433-7300, you will hear prompts directing you to select a certain transaction. When you say "reservations" you will hear additional prompts. After giving specific information, the message will state "please note that ticketing fees may apply." Also, during a reservation telephone conversation with an agent, whether you purchase your ticket at that time or place your reservation on hold, you should be advised that a service fee of per passenger will apply. This information is given as a part of a reservation transaction. Dr. F, again, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding about this issue. However, we are making no exceptions to the collection of the transaction fee and we must respectfully decline your request for a refund. Sincerely, Jeri J. Simar Customer Relations American Airlines

April 28, 2008

To: Jeri J. Simar, Customer Relations Re: R2008/04-73121-00059-001-00 In your response to my request for a refund of a $15 "Telephone Ticketing Service" charge, you referenced two points in the ticketing process to make a case for why I should have known I was being charged the service fee. Your first reference was to the automated phone system that routed me to an AA rep. The system states, "please note that ticketing fees may apply." The use of "may" here implies that there is no absolute with regard to ticketing fees. The implication is that the application of fees will be dependent on the services provided, leaving the option for no fees whatsoever. Your second reference was to the reservation telephone conversation with the AA agent, stating that at the time I purchased or placed my reservation on hold, "[I] should [have been] advised that a service fee per passenger will apply." You further stated that this information is given as a part of a reservation transaction. However, the agent that I spoke with made no reference to any additional fees, generically or specifically. I therefore did not enter into any agreement with AA whereby I would be charged a $15 fee. This is my first experience traveling with AA, and it "may" be my last. I'm certainly suspicious about AA's business practices, given my experience being charged fees without notice. I'm hopeful that this matter can be resolved, and I respectfully request, again, a refund for the $15 charge.

April 30, 2008

From: American Airlines Date: Apr 30, 2008 4:48 PM Subject: R2008/04-81284-00059-001-00 April 30, 2008 Dear Dr. F: I've received your recent email and I am pleased to respond. A careful review has been accomplished of the entire file and reports which have been obtained concerning your request. We wish things had worked out differently and can understand your perseverance in this matter. We try to avoid disagreements and do our best to clearly explain our position. When applicable, a refund is proffered within our policy guidelines, but we must decline to offer a refund in those situations which do not fall within our guidelines. Dr. F, although we understand that you don't agree with our decision, it is based on sound business practices, as well as our past experience. I am sorry to disappoint you further. Sincerely, Jeri J. Simar Customer Relations American Airlines

April 30, 2008

To: Jeri J. Simar, Customer Relations Re: R2008/04-81284-00059-001-00 While I appreciate your prompt reply, I find your response to be more than just disappointing. Your written response is an interesting runaround with no objective evidence that supports your claims, and it does not address the specific points in my most recent correspondence. You state that "A careful review has been accomplished of the entire file and reports which have been obtained concerning your request." Please provide me with the name(s) and contact information of the personnel who conducted this review. Please provide me with copies of the "entire file" and "reports" that were reviewed. I'm curious to know what objective evidence AA has regarding this case. IS there objective evidence that I agreed to be charged a $15 fee, or is it AA's position that customers do not need to know that they are being charged a specific fee when calling? As stated in my previous correspondence, the automated phone system only warns that fees "may" apply, not that they "will" apply. Additionally, no warning was presented by the AA representative that I spoke with. You stated your decision "is based on sound business practices". Is it "sound business practice" to attempt to swindle customers with hidden fees? Is it even lawful to charge customers without revealing what the specific charges will be? How do you address, specifically, the point that I was never notified about a specific charge?

May 19, 2008

From: American Airlines Date: May 19, 2008 3:22 PM Subject: R2008/04-87624-00136-001-00 May 19, 2008 Dear Dr. F: We received your most recent email, and I'm sorry you are upset with Ms. Simar's handling of your concerns. I have been asked to review the correspondence exchanged between you both, and I am glad to do so. I regret you were not apprised of the ticketing fee by the reservations agent you spoke with. As you have already been told, it is mentioned in the recording when you call our reservations office, as well. I, too, am sorry for the misunderstanding about this issue. However, we are making no exceptions to the collection of the transaction fee and we must respectfully decline your request for a refund. Although I know we disappointed you, please know that we value your business. We look forward to seeing you soon. Sincerely, Debbie Mahan Customer Relations American Airlines

May 20, 2008

To: Debbie Mahan, Customer Relations Re: R2008/04-87624-00136-001-00 Thank you for reviewing my correspondence with Ms. Simar. Thank you for acknowledging that I was not apprised of the ticketing fee by the reservations agent I spoke with. I appreciate your honesty. However, there is an open question from my last email that has not been answered. In your email, you state, "As you have already been told, [the ticketing fee] is mentioned in the recording when you call our reservations office, as well." This particular point is of concern to me as the recording states, "please note that ticketing fees may apply." The use of "may" here implies that there is no absolute with regard to ticketing fees. The implication is that the application of fees will be dependent on the services provided, leaving the option for no fees whatsoever. What reasonable person would think that they absolutely would be charged a fee based on that recording? What reasonable person would continue the call without knowing what they would be charged? Why is the recording so ambiguous? What services are provided that do not have a fee associated with them? How does anyone know if they will be charged $15 or $100? As an honest, fair-minded person, Ms. Mahan, what amount is too much to charge someone without them knowing exactly what will be charged for a service? $20? $50?

May 22, 2008

From: American Airlines Date: May 22, 2008 10:21 AM Subject: R2008/05-35140-00136-001-00 May 22, 2008 Dear Dr. F: We received your most recent email. Please know that your additional comments and concerns regarding the telephone recording have been noted. While we are unable to list the fees and whether or not there is a charge, mentioning that a ticketing fee may apply will alert our customers to this possibility. Certainly, they would want to check once they spoke with a representative, if it is not mentioned to them first. Dr. F, we appreciate your insight. Sincerely, Debbie Mahan Customer Relations American Airlines

May 22, 2008

To: Debbie Mahan, Customer Relations Re: R2008/05-35140-00136-001-00 Thank you for acknowledging that AA's telephone recording only alerts customers that fees are a possibility, not a certainty. Reading this made me feel better. However, your statement that "Certainly, [customers] would want to check once they spoke with a representative, if [a fee] is not mentioned to them first" made me feel sad and confused. You attempt to put the onus on the customer to know when charges apply. Not only does this contradict logic, but it also contradicts Jeri Simar's email to me from April 25th which states, "During a reservation telephone conversation with an agent... you should be advised that a service fee of [sic] per passenger will apply. This information is given as a part of a reservation transaction." That clearly identifies the AA employee as being responsible for informing customers about fees. Since you have acknowledged that the AA employee that I spoke with failed in her duties, I don't see why a refund is out of the question. Ms. Simar's April 30th email stated that "When applicable, a refund is proffered within our policy guidelines." Please provide me with a copy of your guidelines. I would like to review them to understand why my situation is not applicable. AA has dropped 11.4% in the American Customer Satisfaction Index since 1994 to a low score of 62. How can AA expect repeat business with unhappy customers?

May 27, 2008

From: American Airlines Date: May 27, 2008 9:03 AM Subject: R2008/05-42397-00136-001-00 May 27, 2008 Dear Dr. F: We received your most recent email. First, your email mentioned that the reservations representative you spoke with did not mention the fee. I'm sorry if that is not the situation you report, however, we can only tell you that they are supposed to do so as part of the conversation. My email also mentioned the fact that a fee may apply, and should alert our customers to the possibility, so that they might ask the reservations representative they are speaking with about this possibility. I never suggested that our customers should know whether or not it applies. You ask why your situation is not applicable for a refund. As we have said in previous correspondence, we are making no exceptions to the collection of the transaction fee and we must respectfully decline your request for a refund. Dr. F, any further correspondence about this particular issue would be unproductive. I understand that you are disappointed -- we are, too. However, we hope to put this matter behind us. We will look forward to the privilege of serving you on an American Airlines flight very soon. Sincerely, Debbie Mahan Customer Relations American Airlines

June 3, 2008

To: Debbie Mahan, Customer Relations Re: R2008/05-42397-00136-001-00 I'm sorry that we have not come to resolution, but I am not willing to put this matter behind us. I am a principled individual, and if the $15 charge had been made with my knowledge and agreement, there would be no complaint on my part. Your company made an unauthorized charge to my credit card in the amount of $15. As I see it, this is a criminal act. I thank you for your time, Ms. Mahan, but you are obviously not in a position of authority here. Please provide me with the contact information for someone who is.

June 4, 2008

From: American Airlines Date: Jun 4, 2008 4:10 PM Subject: R2008/06-03952-00136-001-00 June 4, 2008 Dear Dr. F: I am truly sorry that the matter you brought to our attention some time ago has not been resolved to your satisfaction. Since that time, we have reviewed and revisited the particulars concerning this situation in an effort to explore every possible perspective. Other managers have been involved in these reviews. As a result, we have made numerous attempts to explain the applicable policies and procedures and explain why we simply cannot comply with your request. Our position has not changed and I sincerely regret that we seem to have reached an impasse. While I understand the commitment with which you've continued to pursue this matter, the sustained exchange of communication about this particular situation seems ineffective. We will close our file pertaining to this matter. While we must decline to respond to any further contacts about this issue, we hope to put this unpleasantness behind us. We would consider it a privilege to enjoy a continued business relationship with you as an American Airlines customer. Sincerely, Debbie Mahan Customer Relations American Airlines

June 15, 2008

To: Debbie Mahan, Customer Relations Re: R2008/06-03952-00136-001-00 I am pleased to report that I have received a $15 credit on my credit card thanks to the quality customer service at Capital One. Capital One has recognized me as a loyal customer, and they have provided me with this credit as a courtesy to maintain a positive business relationship. American Airlines could learn a lot from Capital One. Through this ordeal, I did not once get the impression that AA was interested in satisfying the customer. Because AA still has my original $15, I consider the matter an open issue. I shall endeavor to spread the word of my experience with AA to the general public in the spirit of consumer awareness. I have yet to step foot on an AA plane, and you have lost me as a customer. I hope it was worth $15 for you. Good luck in your continued success as a company stooge, Ms. Mahan.